Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5470 of 6374
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Pride, commitment, teamwork - words we use to get you to work for free.
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10-30-2010 16:10 by Hannibal
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
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10-30-2010 16:09 by Hannibal
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BEFORE MARRIAGE: Saturday Night Fever AFTER: Monday Night Football
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10-30-2010 16:08 by Hannibal
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If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
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10-30-2010 16:07 by Hannibal
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Don't ever wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it.
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10-30-2010 15:58 by Hannibal
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Life is a comedy for those who think... and a tragedy for those who feel.
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10-30-2010 15:57 by Hannibal
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going to a fancy dress party in just his underwear tonight... and when people ask "what you come as" i'll say " A Premature Ejaculation, I've just come in my pants"
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10-30-2010 14:42
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Wow !!!!!! this is the oldest i've ever been, I fell Great..... Just out ran the kid next door to the ice cream truck, so what if he's only 10, i've still got something left in the old tank... It's a good day, a really good day!!!!
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10-30-2010 13:59
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wants to remind everyone that all those little ghosts, goblins, princesses, and witches are having the time of their life so please drink responsibly and drive safetly.
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10-30-2010 13:40 by fefe
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Perfect nite for New Years eve practice....You can build up your alcohol tolerance in disguise to hide the fact your a lightweight.
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10-30-2010 13:12 by nyrock
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If a toyota prius crashes into a tree, does it make a sound?
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10-30-2010 13:11 by Supraman
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trying to find the differences between an Oompa-Loompa and Snooki... gotta be the hair!!!
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10-30-2010 12:36
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Happy Halloweenkend!!
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10-30-2010 12:19 by L
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...this year in California, the most popular Halloween mask is Arnold Schwartzenegger. The great thing about it is: with a mouthful of candy, you'll sound just like him!
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i find myself trying to like text messages..wtf?
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10-30-2010 12:02
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Thats the last time I order cheap printer cartridges from yemen.......
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10-30-2010 11:35 by chronic
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The devil and I go way back. It all started that day we were playing with matches!
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starting an oatmeal delivery company.I`m leaning towards naming it Haulin` Oats.
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10-30-2010 11:25
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: I've decided that when I get to superstar status, I will not have a security guard. I will have a ninja.
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10-30-2010 10:48
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The deaf can now also enjoy phone sex......... by texting
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10-30-2010 10:00
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