love Funny Status Messages

   I make my decisions like I make love. I don't, because I'm married.

   I'm more comfortable with animals than humans. Animals understand love clearly. Love a human and they misconstrue it a thousand ways.

   5 years ago I met my wife, the love of my life and my baby momma. It was awkward at first, but they all seem to be getting along now.

   I wished I loved anything as much as white folks love saying "gracias" in Mexican restaurants.

   If your boyfriend answers your text while playing Call of Duty, he doesn't love you. He just died on the game.

   I am so overwhelmed by the birthday love, and SO underwhelmed by the birthday gifts!!!!

   Meatloaf will do anything for love.. but won't do it for a klondike bar. . .

   It seems like everyone is in a relationship or in love and I'm just here like, “I like that tree. That's a nice tree.”

   "We're so in Love." - People that I hope get hit by a bus.

   Like most parents, my wife and I love to proudly watch our beautiful little daughter whilst she sleeps... It does seem to freak out our son-in-law though

   Just got back from a vacation in Nevada...turns out that money can by you love.

   Somewhere, an innocent and naive couple deeply in love is saying crazy stuff like, "let's have plenty of kids. Nothing will change. How hard can it be?"

   It's ironic.... but wouldn't you love to be......."Booby Trapped"

   Her: Why do you love me? Him: because you have sex with me. Her: You could have sex with other girls, too. Him: I can?? Sweet!! Her: That’s not what I meant. Him: OK…then, I love you.

   My significant other is all warm and wet this morning..I love my coffee!!!!

   The key to a successful relationship is to love each other and make fun of the same things.

   Today, my girlfriend asked "would you still love me if I was ugly and fat." "Yes, honey I do." was not the right answer.

   i swear; when people are in love they are never themselves, they are something else....

   If you love something let it go. Great, now it's gone. Why did you do that? You loved that thing you idiot.

   If you love someone let them go, if they come back..... YOU leave, so that the "bleep" knows what it feels like. :)