friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   can't wait for this 365 day weekend to begin.

   Whenever I date a woman, I think to myself, "Is this a woman that I want my children to spend every other weekend with?

   Warning for all you weekend basketball league playing guys: Be leary of the guy who smacks you on the butt and says "Nice shot, man!" when you didn't even take a shot...

   Forget a dislike button, I'd rather have a 'This makes me want to punch you in the back of the head' button. Especially between now and tomorrow when 96% of you will have the exact same status. New Moon is out or reminding me it's Friday.

   Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him for the entire weekend.

   : Happy Friday the 13th!! Hockey mask... Check... Machete... Check...

   It's Friday 13th. I think I'm going to break a mirror, walk under a ladder, let a black cat walk past me, open an umbrella indoors, spill some salt, wear a hat to bed, step on a crack in the sidewalk.... then call somebody I hate and see if she wants to

   Black cats, ladders, broken mirrors, guys named Jason. I hate Friday the 13th.

   Only Robinson Crusoe had ever everything done by Friday.

   W.T.F. - Wednesday, Thursday, Friday...the weekend's almost here!!

   THE ALIENS ARE ATTACKING EARTH ON FRIDAY. THEIR PLAN IS TO KIDNAP ALL THE BEAUTIFUL & SEXY PEOPLE.. DONT WORRY, YOU'RE SAFE... I JUST WANTED TO SAY GOODBYE, PLEASE CHECK IN ON MY MOTHER IN LAW EVERY NOW AND THEN

   if I stand on my tip-toes, I can see the weekend from here!

   *confetti falls* DING! DING! DING! *audience cheers* *in my gameshow host voice* COOOOONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE THE 1000th PERSON TO MENTION THE FACT THAT IT'S FRIDAY IN YOUR STATUS. JERRY, TELL 'EM WHAT THEY'VE WON! *door opens* ABBBBBBSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!

   ryan howard is the only other person who struck out more than I did this weekend..

   giving my liver a pat on the back for holding up this weekend

   giving my liver a pat on the back, thanks for holding up this weekend

   run out of pictures to colour in, in my colouring in book... I guess that is enough work for a Friday...

   would like to thank his liver for all the support, this weekend . . . Couldnt have done it without you, old friend !

   the weekend draws near.. oh liver, you know I love u..

   It's weekend! So drink triple.. see double.. act single!