friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   This Friday, the offical Christmas tree was delivered to the White House. Unfortunately, the Secret Service had already let in three other trees that claimed they were on the list.

   When the story first broke…and the police said they couldn't figure out where Tiger was going at 2:30 Friday morning…was I the only one thinking, ‘Hello!?!?! Walmart!!!'

   can't wait for this 365 day weekend to begin.

   Whenever I date a woman, I think to myself, "Is this a woman that I want my children to spend every other weekend with?

   Warning for all you weekend basketball league playing guys: Be leary of the guy who smacks you on the butt and says "Nice shot, man!" when you didn't even take a shot...

   Forget a dislike button, I'd rather have a 'This makes me want to punch you in the back of the head' button. Especially between now and tomorrow when 96% of you will have the exact same status. New Moon is out or reminding me it's Friday.

   Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him for the entire weekend.

   : Happy Friday the 13th!! Hockey mask... Check... Machete... Check...

   It's Friday 13th. I think I'm going to break a mirror, walk under a ladder, let a black cat walk past me, open an umbrella indoors, spill some salt, wear a hat to bed, step on a crack in the sidewalk.... then call somebody I hate and see if she wants to

   Black cats, ladders, broken mirrors, guys named Jason. I hate Friday the 13th.

   Only Robinson Crusoe had ever everything done by Friday.

   W.T.F. - Wednesday, Thursday, Friday...the weekend's almost here!!

   THE ALIENS ARE ATTACKING EARTH ON FRIDAY. THEIR PLAN IS TO KIDNAP ALL THE BEAUTIFUL & SEXY PEOPLE.. DONT WORRY, YOU'RE SAFE... I JUST WANTED TO SAY GOODBYE, PLEASE CHECK IN ON MY MOTHER IN LAW EVERY NOW AND THEN

   if I stand on my tip-toes, I can see the weekend from here!

   *confetti falls* DING! DING! DING! *audience cheers* *in my gameshow host voice* COOOOONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE THE 1000th PERSON TO MENTION THE FACT THAT IT'S FRIDAY IN YOUR STATUS. JERRY, TELL 'EM WHAT THEY'VE WON! *door opens* ABBBBBBSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!

   ryan howard is the only other person who struck out more than I did this weekend..

   giving my liver a pat on the back for holding up this weekend

   giving my liver a pat on the back, thanks for holding up this weekend

   run out of pictures to colour in, in my colouring in book... I guess that is enough work for a Friday...

   would like to thank his liver for all the support, this weekend . . . Couldnt have done it without you, old friend !