Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   27 Club: Jimi Hendrix [✓] Janis Joplin [✓] Jim Morrison [✓] Kurt Cobain [✓] Amy Winehouse [✓] Lady Gaga [ ] Justin Bieber [ ]

   Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.

   just read where Monica Lewinsky turned 37 yesterday, how time flies, seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the Whitehouse on her knees........

   Sheesh, The Heat hasn't been this bad since the NBA finals.

   finds all the RIP's for a drug addicted Amy Winehouse and none for the 92 innocent people killed in Norway yesterday rather ironic.....

   To the person who said "God didnt put tattoos" on Amy Winehouse, God didnt make haircolor either, but Ms Clairol isnt going to hell. Ignorant moron.

   Do not assume that one without religion is lacking faith.

   Amy Winehouse joins the Forever 27 Club. When does Lady Gaga turn 27?

   How does the man in the moon cut his hair?.........Eclipse it!

   They tried to send Amy Winehouse to the coroner but she said no, no, no. Just kidding, she's dead and didn't say anything.

   You can't judge a book by its cover. I read that on a book cover. It's like a life lesson if you really think about it.

   Stories that have been ripped from the headlines are the best. Except the ones ripped by bears. They're really hard to read.

   Lazy Rule Nos 7, 8 & 9: Errr, oh Just use Rule No.1 !!!

   I always try to watch what I eat...that way I don't bite my finger.

   Amy Winehouse started writing songs for a new album this weekend - she only got through a few lines.

   The higher you put your hopes, the more it hurts when they fall.

   I'm done looking for love, When it's ready...it can come find me.

   why is it that whenever I make a peanut butter sandwich, the whole house starts smelling like peanut butter?

   ‎"Its Good Mood Food" <------ The whole marketing department at Arbys should be fired!

   Gotta love a good GPS. No matter how many wrong turns you make, that little pocket sized symbol of hope just sits there, smiles at you and says "No worries buddy, I'll still get you there"