santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   It's beginning to cost a lot like Christmas!

   CLAUStrophobia = The Fear of Santa Claus !

   It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! People are definitely getting in the holiday spirit, CRABBY, GRABBY and RUDE!

   Times are short and Money is hard... Here's Your Effin Christmas Card!!!

   Dear Santa, Do not eat any cookies from Colorado and Washington this year.. May cause drowsiness.

   It's not officially the holiday season until I've ignored a Salvation Army Santa.

   Dear Santa, I plead the fifth! No wait... I drank it!!

   Sorry, parents of ugly children on Facebook, those Christmas sweaters didn't help; just made them uglier in a festive way.

   I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, The FedEx guy, and the Walmart greeter... C'MON MOM, KNOCK IT OFF! ツ

   Dear Santa, is it too late to be good?

   Last year, I got socks for Christmas. The year before, I got a couple of sacks. And before that, a sax. For pity's sake, Santa, you blind old jerk, it's sex. S-E-X.

   Unfortunately, there was a lot more camel toe than mistletoe at the office Christmas party last night.

   What happens on Santa's lap.......stays on Santa's lap.

   Excuse me, Santa, but I still haven't received the first "ho" you promised me.

   On the 12th day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me- 12 people I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 holiday pet pictures, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 p

   Hey teenage girls, Santa saw your facebook. Now you're only getting clothes and a dictionary for Christmas.

   The real magic of Christmas is how quickly money vanishes from my wallet.

   Santa is really going to love the cookies he gets from Colorado and Washington this year..

   Tampon makers have announced that they will be replacing their tampon string with tinsel. They'll only be available for the Christmas period.

   Santa's reindeer, Donder? Didn't know that, though it was Donner