Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon There will always be a song in our playlist which we always skip, but never delete ... *LIKE* this if agree :D
←Rate | 12-02-2011 16:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon says Ladies; if you don't know how to dance, just spell your name with your butt. Problem solved.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 16:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The girlfriend gets the wallposts, the hoes get the inbox.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 16:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's Britney Spears birthday. She's 30. That's about 57 in trailer park years.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 16:07 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon One could make a reasonable argument that the tot is the best part of the tater.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 16:06 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon When your hands are tied, backs against the wall & swept off your feet all at once it clearly means you're a hostage.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 16:04 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Michael Imperioli is really pissed off about tequila.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 16:02 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone told me that the word "gullible" was not in the dictionary. Well I checked and it was there! Sometimes people's idiocy surprises me.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 15:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Still confused why we use soap and water to remove food from our hands, but just dry paper to remove sh!t from our a$$holes
←Rate | 12-02-2011 15:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attn: numbskull public bathroom users- would it kill ya to *Flush* when you're done??
←Rate | 12-02-2011 14:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Dude, She Called You Poor!" "OH HELL NO, Hold My Food Stamps"
←Rate | 12-02-2011 14:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Right now you make about as much sense as an Alzheimer's patient applying for a job as a history teacher.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 14:09 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always bring some wire cutters to parties, just in case someone else brings a guitar.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 14:06 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm smiling on the outside because I have a rainbow of pills on the inside.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 14:05 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 14:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "The problem with quotes on the Internet is that they are difficult to verify" - Abraham Lincoln.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 14:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been dating a homeless women recently, and I think it's getting serious. She asked me to move out with her.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 13:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon OMG, I'm going to be so tired in the morning that I'm not going to be able to think...luckily I'll be at work.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 13:33 by mzee26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can you believe this guy, officer? Committing suicide in my trunk without my permission. There should be some kind of law about this.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 13:16 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon your ass must be from McDonald's, cuz I'm luvin it!
←Rate | 12-02-2011 13:06 Comments (0)  




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