Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4133 of 6446

Chris Brown and I have a completely opposite understanding of the phrase, "I'd hit that!"
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12-28-2011 02:06
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It seems there are more men who know how to harm a girl than those who know how to charm a girl.
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12-28-2011 02:02
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If you can steal her heart... Try not to let her know that you did it... A good thief will never leave a trace of the crime...
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12-28-2011 01:50
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Bad credit but still has money = Black Jew
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12-28-2011 01:41
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I have to get out of the car... but I like this song.
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12-28-2011 01:41
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BEST PICK UP LINE: Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.
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12-28-2011 01:40
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Steal her heart not just once, but each and every day of her life!
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12-28-2011 01:39
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Im alittle experimental tonight and I tell ya, I tried on a Trojan Magnum...its really hard to breathe in those things.

2012....I'm leaving some people in 2011
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12-28-2011 01:33
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They always seem to want you back the minute they see you being happy with someone else.
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12-28-2011 01:29
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To any girl who calls herself a Barbie: FYI, real men don't play with barbies.
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12-28-2011 01:26
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hors d'oevures now there is a word that snooty people like to use regularly, most of us just say "snacks" and we survive the holidays just fine.
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12-28-2011 01:21 by smeebert
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Settling in for the night with a glass of orange juice and the Dukes of Hazzard.

I look forward everyday to extending my streak of never watching a single minute of "The View"!

Expecting the world to treat you fairly cuz you r a good person is like expecting a bull not to charge you because ur a vegetarian
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12-28-2011 00:10 by JerzJay
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For Sale: 1 Heart. Horrible condition. I don't care what you do with it, just rip it out of my chest and take away this pain.
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12-27-2011 23:07 by BEGO
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Integrity is knowing that just because you can do something, it doesn't always mean that you should...
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12-27-2011 22:49
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one word answers are the nice way of saying "f*ck you and this conversation"...
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12-27-2011 22:28 by @egod20
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Romantic films are known to ruin relationships as they give unrealistic expectations to women about what to expect from men. Porn has the same effect on men.
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12-27-2011 22:08 by BEGO
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Some people don't poop, crap just comes out of their mouth 24/7.
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12-27-2011 21:27 by BEGO
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