love Funny Status Messages

   Watching p0rn and the woman actually said "i love you" in the heat of the moment & its the most disgusting thing i've heard in a p0rn ever.

   I love everybody. Even you, insecure person reading this hoping someone loves you … even you.

   No honey, I love your constant input on my driving

   "Everything you do bothers me." A love story.

   Love is being willing to die for someone that you want to disfigure with acid, decapitate, and send through a wood chipper on a daily basis.

   I am not saying you have to love me. I am just saying the duct tape will come off quicker if you do.

   It's a damn shame when a man works hard all week then comes home for dinner and relaxation but has to work extra hard to get love and appreciation from his woman.

   If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I'm trying to say is, you look like Shrek

   I wish I loved anything as much as women love telling other women "that's perfectly normal" without any medical training whatsoever.

   I’d love to tell my wife to make me a sandwich after sex, but then I wouldn’t have enough teeth left to eat it.

   I love this new Pope...He is so different! I dont even think he's not even Christian. He excommunicated Italian Mafias on Mafia war. He's like Go to chruch...or nah! hashtag whateves!

   The 4 stages of a relationship: 1. I like you 2. I love you 3. I hate you 4. Arson

   it possible to love the one you're with but not be able to stand the sound of their breathing? Asking for a friend

   My love language is paranoia.

   So the Pope has parted ways with the Mafia? I love how humans picks other humans to lord over them.

   I love scary movies. I've seen Ghostbusters at least 6 times.

   Of course I believe in the Zodiac.... I'm a Leo and I love the movie Titanic...if that's not convincing enough, my grandmother is a cancer.......and she was killed by a giant lobster.

   If you love something, set it free. If it immediately bites your throat and drags you up a tree, you love a leopard and should try to escape.

   People make promises all the time. I prefer to just make love.

   It's not love if you're sober.