love Funny Status Messages

   fall in love with someone who treats you like Kanye West treats Kanye West.

   "My wife and I are SO in love. Always finishing each other's..." (silence) (silence) *Russian accent* "You give me Green Card now, yes?"

   I totally love and fully respect that you're a little bit slutty

   Jeremy Meeks the hot convict set to get a $100,000 per month modelling contract. While with my college degree, I'm expected to earn in a year at the PEAK of my future career. I love how our society glorifies violent criminals when honest, hard-working peo

   Watching p0rn and the woman actually said "i love you" in the heat of the moment & its the most disgusting thing i've heard in a p0rn ever.

   I love everybody. Even you, insecure person reading this hoping someone loves you … even you.

   No honey, I love your constant input on my driving

   "Everything you do bothers me." A love story.

   Love is being willing to die for someone that you want to disfigure with acid, decapitate, and send through a wood chipper on a daily basis.

   I am not saying you have to love me. I am just saying the duct tape will come off quicker if you do.

   It's a damn shame when a man works hard all week then comes home for dinner and relaxation but has to work extra hard to get love and appreciation from his woman.

   If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I'm trying to say is, you look like Shrek

   I wish I loved anything as much as women love telling other women "that's perfectly normal" without any medical training whatsoever.

   I’d love to tell my wife to make me a sandwich after sex, but then I wouldn’t have enough teeth left to eat it.

   I love this new Pope...He is so different! I dont even think he's not even Christian. He excommunicated Italian Mafias on Mafia war. He's like Go to chruch...or nah! hashtag whateves!

   The 4 stages of a relationship: 1. I like you 2. I love you 3. I hate you 4. Arson

   it possible to love the one you're with but not be able to stand the sound of their breathing? Asking for a friend

   My love language is paranoia.

   So the Pope has parted ways with the Mafia? I love how humans picks other humans to lord over them.

   I love scary movies. I've seen Ghostbusters at least 6 times.