Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Did I miss the Superbowl again? Darn that's like 20 years in a row.

   Not sure if I just watched the Superbowl or a three hour commercial?

   Dr fauci just announced we all have to wear jock straps now to stop the spread of covid

   SB halftime show: Forget honesty, forget creativity, forget originality. In these days and times, the only thing these "fans" want is formulaic pablum served on a steamy silver platter of ad nauseam.

   Super bowl sucked I guess we should blame Trump for that too.... haha

   Wonder how many wife's the guy who giving marriage tips has gone through?

   There’s an alternate universe some place where Hoobastank is the halftime show.

   Everybody enjoy the Social Justice hour before kickoff?

   Aliens probably ride past Earth and lock their doors.

   Today, I feel sorry for the poor saps who decided to boycott the NFL, four years ago, just because of stupidity.

   The GOP has now turned into the GQP, and this is why I'm out!

   Super Bowl parties are great! (If you aren't into football.) I'm into football, so no thanks.

   Marriage tip #5: Every once in a while, call your wife by one of your ex-girlfriend's names. This will help her realize that she is not the only woman on the docket, and that you're a really good catch!

   Marriage tip #4: Whenever you do something good for your wife, make sure to let her know. For example: "Hey honey, I put all the laundry by the laundry machine. That way you can wash the clothes after you get done with dinner."

   Marriage tip #3: When you have to run some errands and your wife doesn't want to go with you, just grab yourself some Dunkin Donuts, don't get her any. When she asks why you didn't grab her anything, just say, "If you truly loved me, you would have gone w

   I know I won't be out socializing for the Super Bowl. But not because I'm afraid of catching the Coronavirus, I just don't like sports.

   Sears just called,My Back ordered Leather jacket with tassels is finally in.

   A clean house and finish projects is the sign of someone who hasn't looked at Facebook in a while.

   Betty white to preform at next year at 2022 Superbowl ...

   To all my secret admirers. With Valentine's Day just around the corner if you'd like some candy and flowers it's too expensive for you to reveal yourself now, but maybe next year!