love Funny Status Messages

   Amongst all the beautiful women in this world.. There's always an idiot ex-boyfriend, who still expects her love again.

   Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my womans hair. It's a nice way to let her know my love,, and also that we're out of napkin

   Hey Spotify, safe for work does not translate to safe for my masculinity when Backstreet Boys - As Long As You Love Me, goes blaring through the shop. It probably didn't help that I knew all the words and the dance from the video either.

   Cavs agree to Love trade". Oh, so THAT'S how they can afford to pay both Lebron and Kyrie!

   I don't know what the big deal is about this whole Love trade thing. Its nothing new! Isn't that the world's oldest profession?

   How much for the eternal loyalty & unconditional love? Ma'am that's a puppy

   How much for the love drug? Sir, that's chloroform

   Late night 20 minute conversations with the McDonalds Drive thru guy about those who we aspire to love, the desolate restitution of our youth, and McNuggets. Because adulthood.

   The difference between love and lust is one letter: hotel vs. motel

   I love bacon because I can wrap it around everything. Essentially, it's the duct tape of food.

   Kanye West and Kim Kardashian lock eyes... "I love you" Kanye whispers as he sees his own reflection in Kim's eyes.

   I love when people say to me… Omg! Your so funny on FB. If they only knew about my awesome copy & paste ability..They could be just as funny!

   "I Love You just the Way You Are" is the best compliment ever.

   I love how people say they're "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin or a lawnmower.

   I burned my mouth on my pizza and I feel this is a strong metaphor showing me that the ones we love can hurt us the most.

   It's not love if she takes the money off of the dresser.

   Maybe cops who plant evidence just really love gardening.

   I love you, flushable baby wipes.

   So I thought about asking the love of my life to marry me. Chicken Parmesan. . .

   I love hearing “saw this and thought of you”