Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Just because you LIKED my awesome status does not mean I have to LIKE the picture of your food...
←Rate | 07-04-2012 13:47 by Steve OH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear americans, as you celebrate your independence just know you are the greatest country in term of human weight and obesity.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 13:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Independence Day! And make sure you stick a feather in your hat and call it macaroni! Because that makes total sense!!!
←Rate | 07-04-2012 12:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ahhh, the 4th of July. The day where trips to hospital start with the words "Hold my beer and watch this!"
←Rate | 07-04-2012 12:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are there no black fireworks?
←Rate | 07-04-2012 12:31 by Cybersi99 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will say, Have a fun and safe 4th. But I refuse to celebrate our Independence! Our fore fathers are turning over in their graves. Instead of gaining freedom we have lost and continue to lose freedoms every day.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 11:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I no longer say 'YOLO', my philosophy is "LIVIN' LIKE LARRY!"
←Rate | 07-04-2012 11:48 by Erin Leigh Comments (0)  


   messageicon My short-term memory is my ONLY problem..... Well, that, and my short-term memory
←Rate | 07-04-2012 11:43 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have an inferiority complex,,,,,, but it isn't a very good one.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 11:42 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon List of things I've accomplished today:,,,,, #1 Make accomplishment list..............................................................
←Rate | 07-04-2012 11:39 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Andy Griffith funeral? Who knows.. he could be cremated...or.. they Mayberry him
←Rate | 07-04-2012 11:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks for calling the revolutionary tipline. Your call is important to us. Press: 1 if by land, 2 if by sea, 3 to hear these options in Spanish
←Rate | 07-04-2012 11:35 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Amazing Spiderman was good but they didn't cover the part in his life where he co-founded Facebook...I assume that will be in the sequel...
←Rate | 07-04-2012 11:12 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anderson Cooper - I had to come clean, I was caught singing "Call Me Maybe" in my car on the way to work!
←Rate | 07-04-2012 10:51 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being a parent in the South is so easy... You just have to shout "Simmer Down" every few days.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 10:19 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon if a sniper used a laser to shoot me in my house, I would be wearing 3 cats on my face
←Rate | 07-04-2012 09:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sadness in its purest form....going to a bbq and instead of beer you find soda, kids, pinwheels, and bubbles.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 09:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We need more propeller hats
←Rate | 07-04-2012 09:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a feeling that 99.9% of the fingers blown off will be from males.
←Rate | 07-04-2012 09:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon America, happy birthday! I hope you do something fun and get lots of happy birthday wishes on your wall!
←Rate | 07-04-2012 09:28 Comments (0)  




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