Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 3306 of 6446

Helpful hint: You can park wherever you want if you put your hazard lights on and take your tire off.
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08-17-2012 07:17 by Huck
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I do declare douchebaggery and shenanigans! Happy F-Off Friday
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08-17-2012 07:07 by big-J
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Single bells, single bells,single all the way oh what fun it is to see couples fight all day hey!
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08-17-2012 06:56
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I violently vomit and get overwhelmed with suicidal thoughts whenever I read B EGO's sentimental crap.
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08-17-2012 06:30
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Are you gonna eat that... or just take pictures?

I swear people who like temperatures in the 90s don't actually work for a living.
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08-17-2012 02:05
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And on the day that Pooh found out bacon tasted better than honey, we all knew Piglet's days were numbered.

Not ALL of B EGO's shtuff is funny, but I've seen quite a few good ones from him. We all bomb once in a while. :)

I violently vomit when I see anonymoys F-tards that wanna be little kids and insult someone they don't even know. Don't be a puss!
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08-16-2012 23:54
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there such a thing as a bad friday?
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08-16-2012 22:28 by kurt
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The people in horror movies would live a lot longer if they listened to me in the audience.
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08-16-2012 22:04 by BEGO
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If a girl bangs 10 guys in a year, she's a slut. If a guy does it, he's gay, definitely gay.
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08-16-2012 22:01 by BEGO
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11 year olds today: "Omg I love smokin pot. I get like so drunk. Yolo!" Me when I was 11: "I can't wait to go home and play Club Penguin!
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08-16-2012 21:58 by BEGO
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Myspace: Died a couple of years ago. Facebook: In the hospital. Twitter: At the strip club throwing ones at the big booty bit$hes.
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08-16-2012 21:56 by BEGO
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I cant stand when people say a babies age in months after a year old. "Yeah he's 29 months old", B$tch don't make me do math.
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08-16-2012 21:54 by BEGO
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British accent: Justin Biebah. American: Justin Biebur. Australian: Jastin Beybah. You just tried out all of the accents, didnt you?
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08-16-2012 21:53 by BEGO
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Voicemail should be renamed “messages from people over 40″
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08-16-2012 21:51 by BEGO
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If swimming would just add one shark, I would watch it more than football.
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08-16-2012 21:49 by BEGO
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Dear God, I wanna take a minute, not to ask for anything from you. But simply to say thank you, for all I have.
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08-16-2012 21:47 by BEGO
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My wife is a banquet cook... If it says Banquet on the box, she can cook it!
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08-16-2012 20:59 by snotty
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