Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Nothing wrong with borrowing a girl's virginity, you just kiss her on the forehead after and she gets it back.

   If you constantly post pics of you and your partner kissing, I am going to give you all the privacy you need...by deleting your ass.

   The last person to enter the house's of parliament with honourable initiations was Guy Fawkes!

   i time traveled tonight without using a DeLorean

   Cant Help Eavesdropping to a Group of Senior Citizens as they Reminisce their College Life... Funny and Disgusting at the same time..

   Last week Honey Boo Boo endorsed President Obama. I knew Obama was pro birth control but I didn't realize the poster child for birth control was pro Obama.

   I set my daylight savings time back 13 years so I could party like it was 1999!

   Don't forget to change your clocks tonight and to change your president on Tuesday

   At 2AM tonight it's Daylight Savings or "Drunk Dial Everyone You Know" night as my party buddies like to call it.

   Apparently the little box on the up right side of fb seems more interesting than the actual status updates!

   I take my dog clubbing with me cause he's good at chasing tail...

   I bet Flava Flav HATES daylight savings time.

   Time to set the clocks ahead 23 hours.

   I'm turning my clock back to 1978...

   If you were dying of thirst in the desert, I wouldn't let you drink my urine.

   I love spending money as much as my government does.

   apparently my new girlfriends natural hair color is bald...

   New Urban Legand: If you stand in front of a mirror at midnight and scroll so far down your Timeline, you'll end up on MySpace.

   an hour back for daylight savingss ?? well good.... atleast the clock in my car will finally be right again.

   Too sick to get out of bed, the batteries in the remote control died while channel surfing, and now the TV is stuck on a SpongeBob SquarePants marathon. Oh death, where is thy sting?