Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   NJ Gov Christie has cancelled Halloween… people are being asked to send any previously purchased Candy to the Office of the Governor.

   Thank you Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!!!

   Halloween: The only night of the year a girl can dress up like a complete slut and not have her motives questioned.

   They say you are what you eat. I don't recall eating a legend.

   I don't care if this urinal handle is ten feet up.....I'm still flushing with my foot!!

   For those visiting NY city. Please considerate to respect those that live/work there and remember that all streets are currently considered a NO WAKE zone.

   If you're a midget, and you don't dress up as a leprechaun and hand out chocolate gold coins for Halloween, then you're just being selfish!!

   ow you know your neighbor is a redneck when your jack-o-lantern has more teeth then she does.

   If MTV's "Jersey Shore" cast had any class or dignity, they'd give back a few millions to the place that needs it most and made them so famous over the years- Just saying.

   Finally able to check off Bucket list #19 - Surf through New York City

   I'm dressing as a cop for Halloween and telling ladies to "lick it or ticket!!"

   Stalking: When two people go for a long romantic walk together, but only one of them knows about it.

   Disney purchased Lucasfilms, LTD?? I personally can't wait for some of those gems to start coming out. Particularly, Snow White and the Seven Storm Troopers, Swiss Family Skywalker and - my favorite - Song of the Sith...

   It's Halloween B itches! Bring on the booze!!!

   Growing up,,, My daughter always wanted to be a "Disney" princess,,,,, : Darth Vader

   In the movie 2012 the first thing that flooded was New York and now it is 2012 and New York is flooding. Just saying. !!

   Halloween on Humpday......I like where this is going.

   I want my tombstone to read "I have finally cured my addiction to oxygen""

   If you want to remove wrinkles, pimples, face marks & the 7 signs of skin-aging, try 'Adobe Photoshop'!

   I was just told I'm someones BFF. Being the idiot I am, I had to google it. Backup-file Format is a euphemism for something hot right?