Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   New drinking game! Have to drink every time Wolf Blitzer says "Votes"

   Obama is all about change. Unfortunately, it's my change and your change he'll take...

   I need 4 more beers...

   If Romney gets elected, I hope Kanye interrupt his speech and talks about how Obama should have won.

   Jesus said: "Heal the sick, feed the poor", and Romney said "What, for free?"

   Clint Eastwood hasn't voted yet, he's still trying get his ottoman to stop talking back to him.

   Every time someone votes for Romney/Ryan, an elderly, minority, lesbian veteran gets punched in the uterus. 

   New drinking game for election night coverage. You take a drink every time the say "Ohio" and "Too close to call"

   The only thing that scares me about this whole election is the Sunday drivers out on a Tuesday.

   Today everyone will update about who they chose for president, then tomorrow it will be back to what they chose for lunch.

   I went to the poles today.... well, they were stripper poles, but those girls got my vote.

   I don't like the Republican Party and I don't like the Democratic Party... I just like to PARTY

   I can make Romney Noodles Obama self!

   If you're going to the polls with someone today and one of you is voting for Obama, and the other is voting for Romney....should you even bother going?

   Loser cleans up the yard signs.....

   Just demolished another box of macaroni and cheese buy trying to "Push here to open".

   Rosanne is running.....who cares

   Hey. If Obama wins yet I didn't vote for him....do I still get the free phone?

   I voted for Pedro because i'm tired of all this stupid Romney and Obama supporting jokes... retarded...

   I don't exercise to be healthy. I exercise to look sexy af naked!