friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   1-2 Freddy's coming for you... opps wrong movie! Happy Friday the 13th filled with horny teenagers and not machete wielding maniacs!!! ;)

   This Friday the 13th instead of Jason popping out of nowhere to kill us, Jennifer Hudson will sing about how much weight shes lost until we commit suicide.

   Drank so much over the weekend that I'm giving a new meaning to "Shooting Craps."

   I wonder what Rebecca Black thinks of Samoa skipping out on Friday?.......

   I picked up this chick last Friday night. I'm not saying she's fat or anything, but when I pulled her panties down to her knees, her a$$ was still in them. :(

   monday - friday , we work. saturday - sunday they party I'm still @ work. they sleep I'm dreaming!

   Re-up with Sam Hurd this weekend just isn't going to happen...

   My wife is taking my kids to go see the nut cracker this weekend. Of course I'm talking about my mother in law not the show.

   I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.

   Apparantly Friday was National Day of the Ninja. I was completely unaware of it. Well played Ninja Day… well played

   I got so wasted this weekend I kept spilling drinks...all over the inside of my stomach.

   Unless you woke up inside a live shark, I don't want to hear about your weekend.

   Turned my brain off for the weekend and now I can't stop coming up with ideas for Adam Sandler movies.

   I'm just like Rebecca Black...it takes me until Friday to decide whether I'm sitting in the front or back seat.

   I've come to the realization that I have attained the pinnacle of middle aged complacency. My Friday nights are mostly spent with the remote in one hand, and my b***s in the other.

   Forecast for the weekend - On Friday, mild alcoholism with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement close to midnight on Saturday. Increasing chance of big regret and big hangover for Sunday.

   I disagree with Kay Jewelers. On any given Friday or Saturday night I'd bet more kisses start with Bud Light than Kay.

   Hate Mondays.Annoy Tuesday.Ignore Wednesday.Smile Thursday.Love Friday.Enjoy Saturday.Damn Sunday!

   Monday morning is a slap in the face to wake us up from our weekend daydream.

   so much for black friday at a bar