Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Dilemma: Watching your mother inlaw driving towards a cliff in your brand new car.

   it rude to start asking my mother-in-law for daily child care fees? Her child is a handful and I don't work for free.

   [reviewing security cam footage to see what's eating out of my trash at night] mother of god it's me

   This year my mother gave my son a drum set for Christmas. Which surprised me. I said to her don't you remember how you hated it when I played the drums when I was a kid? She replyed with a smile , I remember.

   *My mother inlaw is so old, that she has an autograph copy of the Bible.

   Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out.

   Dear Facebook, I'm fully capable of finding my phone friends so if you can do me a favor and stop suggesting them to me like my mother did when I was 5 years old that would be great. Thanks!

   The baby gets really annoyed when I try to undress him. He gets that from his mother.

   The year is 2073. My wife and I rest in side by side burial plots. Waking up in the middle of the night our 57yo son, for reasons beyond his understanding, digs a horizontal hole between us and gets in. His head near his mother and his feet kicking my c

   Mother Goose Haiku: Old Mother Hubbard Looked in cupboard for dog food Nothing for that dog.

   I see the mother in law's put up a new profile pic! It's got 23 yikes already!

   The penalty for bigamy is having two mother in-laws.

   In sept 1945 I wish "he" was shot into space instead of his mother being impregnated with him.

   My mother inlaw standing in front of a mirror: "I feel fat and ugly." . Me to make her feel better: "Well at lease your eye sight is good."

   My mother in-law is so ugly, even a boiling tea kettle won't give her a whistle.

   My mother never saw the iorny in calling me a s.o.b.

   Well, I guess we are going to see "The Nutcracker" on Saturday! My mother-in-law, not the play.......

   Why did Adam and Eve have the perfect marriage?..... Because neither one of them had a mother in-law.

   using Just For Men on your mother in laws mustache at night wrong ? Asking for a friend ..

   When my mother in-law said she wants to be creamated. I immediatley made her an appointment for next week.