friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Roses are red violets are blue...it's Friday night and I'm sick of stating the obvious to you

   What's the appropriate cutoff age for playing in an inflatable bouncy house? Please let me know ASAP as this will impact my weekend plans.

   If you are the winner of Friday's $500 million Mega Millions jackpot can receive the winnings in one lump sum, yearly installments, or one tank of gas.

   The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

   Tiger Woods's win last weekend is a great reminder that sex addiction only affects your golf game for 923 days.

   This weekend I got so drunk, my shadow is now in a baby stroller drooling

   If Friday ever came up missing... than more than likely Monday had something to do with it!

   There are some days when I just really do not want to wake up early and go to work. I call these days Monday - Friday.

   I woke up last Friday to find a letter from West Africa in my e-mail. Saturday morning, there was one from Nigeria and today, there was one from Jamacia. I have the feeling I am being black mailed....

   Well, it's easy to tell I'm married. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status...

   Thinking about getting the new iPad 23 that comes out today, but might hold off to next Friday and get the iPad 24.

   My greatest fear on Monday is greeting someone and asking someone how their weekend went and they actually telling me every mundane details about it.

   You're so old your idea of going out on a Friday night is taking a walk to the outhouse.

   Nothing says love like, "I'm busy this weekend but I'll call you Wednesday."

   I don't wanna be presumptuous, but I think this Sandra Fluke chick just might be the love of my weekend. Now, if she'd only return my phone calls...

   Why even hit on chicks this weekend? I've already been fuc$ed once this week by gas prices.

   Saw Jennifer Lopez's boob today. Successful weekend.

   TGIF - Thank Goose It's Friday

   The phone rang & I tried to answer the stapler..Yup its friday..chug chug

   its friday I smell vodka