Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Wanted, Teenager owners manuel for models 1993 thru 1996. Must be kid tested and mother approved.

   You have to feel sorry for the Mother's of the Chilean miners. The waiting, the pain, seeing their kids come out slowly from a small dark hole. It's like child birth all over again

   thinks that the mother and father bear from Goldilocks and the 3 bears had some relationship issues as evident from the fact that they had separate beds!

   recycle...because mother earth likes to regift too

   My mother sent me a private message on fb, telling me that I shouldn't post things that some people might find offensive. after much soul searching I had to do the right thing, so I unfriended her

   A little boy examines his privates while in the bath. "Mommy, are these my brains?" His mother says, "Not yet."

   My mother sent me a private message on fb, telling me that I shouldn't post things that some people might find offensive. after much soul searching I had to do the right thing, so I unfriended her !

   You know you're a mother when you hide in the bathroom to be alone!

   Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.

   just changed my profile date of birth and was really loving all the attention until my mom wished me a Happy Birthday. My own mother didn't even know my real birthday is not until April.

   Like all moms, there are days when Mother Nature just wants to feel sexy. Somehow, this leads to hurricanes.

   I would like to wish a happy Labor Day to all the mother out there.

   I'd stand a much greater chance at checking out those spam porn emails if they didn't read something like, "young cuties horses XXX mother/son gangbang bondage erotica!" Uh, all at the same time, or...?

   Getting snubbed by the left turn arrow at an intersection after waiting your turn is annoying. Getting skipped twice? I will murder you, light! But a third time?! Clearly a valid legal defense for blowing right through that mother f*cker.

   playing punch buggy with your mother

   God said: "I cannot be everywhere, So I created MOTHER!" The Devil Replied: "Even I can't be everywhere, So I created MOTHER-IN-LAW!!!"

   My mother sent me a private message on fb, telling me that I shouldn't post things that some people might find offensive. after much soul searching I had to do the right thing, so I unfriended her !

   got a job...single mother and can't even get help from the government because I make $100 too much...might as well be on welfare!

   You go to bed right now mister... How dare you post on here about your mother you are grounded for a week with no lemon bar deserts!

   can officially call myself a man today, made cupcakes on my own without the help of mother!