Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. What do you mean? responded her mother. Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another...

   I was raised by my father----my mother left before I was born.

   A blizzard in January, and a tornado in February. I didn't realize how bi polar mother nature really is.

   After pulling an all-nighter, I had the pleasure of meeting my girlfriend's mother for the very first time. She walked in on me in the bathroom...I had fallen asleep while taking a dump...

   You know what's amazing? "how I met your mother"

   Evidently once your mother leaves the house you jump on her computer and think your a comedian with the "once you....."

   the kinda guy your mother warned you about. Warned you not to let get away because a good man is hard to find.

   Psychotherapy is like the boardgame Clue: "I know who did it. It was my mother, with the passive-aggression, in the 80's."

   if I could just harness the powers of that groundhog to predict the future...I'd be unstoppable...and I could dig like a mother fu@ker too...

   Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.

   I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.

   Little Johnny wrote to Santa, "I want a baby brother for christmas." Santa wrote back' "Send me your Mother. '

   If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?

   Facebook - one more way my mother can make sure I haven't died in the past 24 hours...

   I miss the days when their mother's loving kiss could solve all of my children's problems:o(

   Steven Tyler has the face only a mother could love.

   if a deaf boy cusses in sign language, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

   Turning on Parental Control...restricting my wireless network so my mother cannot go on Facebook at certain times.

   Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

   pretty sure that mother nature has been taken over by an evil step-mother!!!