Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I bet all the living descendants of the Lanisters have great credit!

   The Lannisters send their regards.

   When you wake up at 3am for no reason, there is an 80% chance that someone is staring at you...

   all the kids wearing hoodies instead of costumes this Halloween are getting skittles, it's what trayvon would have wanted

   Damn, it's so hot out. the tounges of my sneakers are hanging out.

   You might have a million dollar body, but you got a food stamp face!

   A Women's work is never done because she's too busy telling a Man how to do his work.

   Seriously Rolling Stone magazine? Was George Zimmerman unavailable for the cover?

   if you wake up to more animals than humans, I think I know why you're single...

   If you ever Google Gary Oldman FFS dont forget the "R" !!!!

   I just had a "Stand your ground" moment with a black snake in my backyard, I hope the news media doesn't find out about it and instigate more rioting.

   ever wonder if the mcDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?

   this grassy knoll?

   RJ.. The tour de France is cool and everything but I think if I was to ever race in it I would definitely come in last not because of my racing abilities but because of my attention span in a beauti...oh wow is that a mom n pop flower shop on the top of t

   RJ... oh you better believe I'm calling that store asking for the film back! I don't know who or what was in those pics but you caught my attention.

   I feel like pulling a Joan wilder and out drinking a Sot in Cartagena.... anybody? Chirp chirp chirp... crickets really?

   According to my childhood, 1 out of 3 pigs are excellent builders.

   If you can't handle me at my worst....then I completely understand,because I can't either !

   How about lets move on from the Zimmerman case already?

   McDonalds is opening their first restaurant in Vietnam next year. McDonalds slogan "loving you long time"!!!