Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If she uses her panties as ankle warmers does that make her eco-friendly or just a $lut?

   Why did the rooster cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off?

   I want to be a Disney princess, but not Snow White because I don't want dwarfs touching me while I sleep.

   Did Miley Cyrus have a stroke or was she doing that with her tongue on purpose

   Disney has turned into America's Next Top Slut competition. Call in Britney to host with Christina and Lindsay for judges.

   If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?

   i will never buy a foam finger again !

   After seeing Miley Cyrus' raunchy VMA performance last night, I don't feel so bad about perving on her leaked p0rn0.

   maybe Disney should start having there girls sign contracts before making them famous. Like, "I Promise I will not be America's next pop wh*re if I get this part..."

   While outside jogging nothing will help you burn even more calories than getting hit by the runs... I think I just broke bolts track record!

   I accidently switched my TV to the Aljezeera station and now there's a helicopter over my house...

   I wonder what Billy Ray Cyrus thinks about his achy breakie slut. . .

   Breaking News: Miley Cyrus to star in prn movie called "Hannah Does Montana"

   There is a price to pay for my happiness..its called alcohol.

   How many of these cats do I have to glue together before I have a tiger?

   Things I wish I could unsee: 1. Miley Cyrus twerking 2. Miley Cyrus riding that foam finger 3. Miley Cyrus

   Cats know. I don’t know what it is they know, but they know it and they’ve known it for a while. They know.

   Dear Miley, there were at least 4 things missing from your VMA performance - Talent, Dignity, Grace and Self Respect.

   Her: Why do you love me? Him: because you have sex with me. Her: You could have sex with other girls, too. Him: I can?? Sweet!! Her: That’s not what I meant. Him: OK…then, I love you.

   Jesus saves. He shoots. He scores!! (watching Mexican soccer.)