Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I am outraged that corporate media would air that thing they desperately wanted me to be outraged about!

   What Miley Cyrus did is nothing compared to what some of your baby girls have already done in her first week at college.

   After opening this month's electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.

   The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.

   been accused by others of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine!

   My cats are staring at me like i'm King Tuna Tut.

   I would pic a Miley Cyrus joke over any depressing news about the war in Syria any day.

   This just enforces the belief that people with mullets should not be raising children.

   Why waste money on a shrink when I can just watch the dog whisperer and get cured for free.

   MTV better start playing something else other than the VMAs, because if I have to see miley twerking one more time, I'm going to volunteer as tribute for the next hunger games

   It's ironic.... but wouldn't you love to be......."Booby Trapped"

   Kyle Busch's face looks like he is trying to hold in a poop.

   Sad to read that the creator of classic party game Twister has died. Top bloke and will always be remembered for giving me the chance to see my auntie's crack.

   So, if Miley Cyrus and the Beebs had a baby it would make honey boo boo look like the royal baby! .. and she could hump its Teddy Bears !

   Joan Rivers doesnt look a day over $225,000

   Next years VMA's: someone will actually get pregnant on live TV

   Miley Miley Miley ..... I think you and that referee last night broke your daddy's achy breaky heart .... I just don't think he'd understand ..... Wheeeee hooooooo !

   I'm glad MTV has shows like Teen Mom 3 so girls have good role models besides Miley.

   Lamar Odom has been missing for 3 days. Guess he couldn't keep up with the Kardashians.

   Christina aguilera, Miley Cyrus, Annette Funicello is rolling over in her grave....