Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   My mother taught me about RECEIVING. “You are going to get it when you get home!”

   My mother taught me about JUSTICE. “One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you”.

   A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.

   Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love.

   If you have a mom or wife that is an awesome mother don't post it here....get ur lazy ass up and go tell her in person!!

   Mother's Day, the celebration after those three little words..."I am late."

   Happy Mother's Day to all the Mother's that have touched my life and an unhappy one to all the Motherf#*ckers that I encounter everyday!

   I guess Mother's Day is kind of awkward to a woman who has had multiple abortions. Thanks mom for not pulling the plug on me! Happy Mothers Day. :)

   ...today's the day we mother's get some relief from the curse OUR mother's handed down when they told us "one day you'll have a kid JUST LIKE YOU!!" Have a great MOM'S DAY everyone!! =D

   To all the Mothers and Grandmothers out there, whether here on Earth or an Angel in Heaven: Thank you for teaching us all we know. Being a mother is not easy.

   Mother's day is a great time to let her know you're gay. P.S. She knows.

   ✓ Adolf Hitler, ✓ Saddam Hussein, ✓ Osama Bin Laden, ☐ Mother-In-Law

   Your mother sat on my glasses and broke them, I guess it's partially my fault, I should of took them off my face first.

   Just saw Bigfoot!! Oh wait, its just the mother in law.

   Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the Husband, sharks for the husbands mother.

   I am still sitting here completely in Awe of how Samuel L Jackson is going to be portraying Martin Luther King, Jr. I can picture it now, "I had a dream mother f*cker!"

   Rain on a Monday, in spite of the fact we need the rain, is unacceptable. Mother Nature will be hearing from my attorney.

   "When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn�

   Moms are really very clever!! within the first 10 minutes of visitng her, she read my mind better than I ever read it myself! I could never be a real man just like my own mother.. love you mom!! :-)

   If I place a call that is being recorded for quality assurance and training purposes, I make sure to say mother%#&@er alot.