Prostitute Funny Status Messages

   Everytime I see a mattress tied to the top of a car, I think….there’s another prostitute making a house call

   Great News for YOU during these financially challenging times. I found a prostitute who charges by the inch. Obviously, I can't afford her, but I thought you might enjoy an inexpensive night out.

   There is a thin line between girlfriend allowance and a prostitute's fee. Jokes.

   Big win for the Catholic church as Pope Francis takes Time Magazine's person of the year barely edging out finalists tea bagger Ted Cruz, prostitute Miley Cyrus, and worst president since Jefferson Davis Barack Obama.

   If I had a dollar for every time I've had sex, I'd be a really affordable prostitute.

   I never said she was a prostitute, all I said was she used her panties as ankle warmers!

   So there I was, wanking myself off, when suddenly I thought "This prostitute is lazy".

   Who's the biggest prostitute in history...Ms. Pacman...for 10 cents that slut swallowed balls till she died....

   Passed a vampire, a zombie, and a prostitute on the way to work tonight. Not sure which ones were in costume...

   The average annual income of a U.S. prostitute is $290,000. Seems the only time getting screwed pays is when you are a hooker.

   A prostitute just told me she would do anything for $10... guess who just got their car washed!

   Anybody wanna go halfsies on a prostitute?

   A hot chick with all her teeth and original limbs at a bowling alley is alway a cop posing as a prostitute.

   Free Tip: If a prostitute has nice teeth and carries a purse, she's a cop.

   Whoever made the ''One loyal Girlfriend is worth more than one hundred hoes'' post has never been with a prostitute...

   NEW SECRET SERVICE CODE OF ETHICS: 1.) When arguing with a hooker in the hotel hallway, Use your "Inside" voice. 2.) You're only allowed to jump on a prostitute if you hear her ticking. 3.) Proudly display the U.S. Flag, But NOT the pole.

   So I met this prostitute who said she'd do anything for $20. Guess who got their homework done. ;)

   Valentine's day: Dinner for two: $80. Movie: $60. Flowers: $85. Gold Necklace: $250. Hotel room: $150 OR a Prostitute: $100! You decide.

   Teacher asks: What is the difference between a prostitute, a girlfriend and a wife.Student replies: Prepaid, post paid and unlimited plan.

   (Q): What is the difference between a prostitute, a girlfriend and a wife. (A): Prepaid, post paid and unlimited plan.