snow OR flurries OR winter Funny Status Messages

   ‎400 lbs of salt and two snow blowers for sale, thanks weathermen! Excuse me while I Go sledding through my grass.

   Dear Punxsutawney Phil, If you are not frozen, please come out of your little home tomorrow morning with your eyes closed(so you don't see your shadow) and flip everyone off. That should sum up this winter.

   with all the snow and ice; there is no traffic so everyone head outside and just stand in the street...start shakin it to poker face and flash dance!

   introducing the latest game from Zynga.....SNOWVILLE..... make coins as Mr. Plow.....purchase snow shovels and snow throwers to do jobs...do "special jobs" clearing driveways for the elderly couple down the street as you ask friends for help.... and be ca

   Will it ever stop; Yo, I don't know, turned out the lights, and there's snow

   WOW!! This winter storm system spans 2000 miles!!

   I love snow it can make the dirtiest ghetto look clean.

   Ah winter, that beautiful time of year for frozen engines, broken car starters and screeching fan belts. Bliss 

   When I was a kid, snow days cost $100 and only lasted a few hours...

   getting a restraining order on Old Man Winter

   Im so FU***ing tired of this snow that I just ripped all of my kids possessions (books , Comforters etc) that have any type of reference to SNOW WHITE... yeah..F**ck her too!

   Im so tired of this winter and snow that I rigged a gasoline can to my leaf blower, I'm on a mission now to melt all the snow so I can mow later

   PSA: When you find out it is a snow day, everyone on facebook already knows. Please do your best to refrain from updating your status to "no school" or "snow day". As it does get on my nerves.

   No one wants to hear a guy say 'they're getting 8" tonight', hence the reason all weather reporters should be female, cuz who doesn't like to hear a woman talk dirty like that, even if it's about snow?

   wants to go the next NHL Winter Classic and sneak onto the ice with a fishing pole and a folding chair. Just for laughs.

   Next person that asks me "Is it cold out?" after I walk inside with my winter coat on, gloves, hot and a red face is going to get thrown outside in the snow and locked out.

   Another WASTED DAY that the kids could be using to make up a snow day and a day I could be getting some stuff done , but damn near everything is closed.

   Sometimes while I drink my morning coffee I stare out the window think to myself "F#&k, thats a lot of snow!!"

   The next person that says asks me "Think we got enough snow?" shall be given an epic whitewash.

   We are in for such a cold winter this year that the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual and so far 3 of my neighbors have disappeared, Are you all OK?