Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1780 of 6385
Marriage licenses must be reviewed and renewed yearly.
←Rate |
08-17-2014 09:44 by Baddie
Comments (0)
Officer: Why were you driving so fast? Me: Just trying to keep up with traffic. Officer: There's no one on the road. Me: That just shows how far behind I am.
←Rate |
08-17-2014 08:23
Comments (0)
Did you ever wish you could sometimes freeze frame a moment in your day, look at it and say "this is not my life"? 'Robin Williams, Mrs doubtfire'
←Rate |
08-17-2014 05:09
Comments (0)
Drinky Poos'- What a girl calls a drink to try and be cute. Drinky Poos'- What a man has the morning after a night of drinking.
←Rate |
08-16-2014 21:28
Comments (0)
Cop: Sir, do you know why I pulled you over? Me: No, Officer. I thought sure that you would know.
←Rate |
08-16-2014 20:35
Comments (0)
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a $hit?
←Rate |
08-16-2014 16:42 by Cicci
Comments (0)
Looking for a girl who goes down as quickly as my phone battery...
←Rate |
08-16-2014 16:14
Comments (0)
If I lived beneath a tap dancer I think I would just put really powerful magnets on my ceiling.
←Rate |
08-16-2014 16:05
Comments (0)
I can't wait to find my soul mate so I can start sleeping on the couch.
←Rate |
08-16-2014 15:38 by Baddie
Comments (0)
Facebook should have a limit on how many selfies you can post in a day...
←Rate |
08-16-2014 14:58 by Cory
Comments (0)
hmmmm...... Thats weird, I dont remember eating corn last night?
←Rate |
08-16-2014 12:46 by SULLY
Comments (0)
If everything tastes like us, why do we have to die? –Chickens
←Rate |
08-16-2014 12:04
Comments (0)
I was invited to take part in a flash mob. Showed up in just my trenchcoat. Now I'm disappointed.
←Rate |
08-16-2014 10:50
Comments (0)
My wife is in a bad mood. I think her boyfriend forgot their anniversary... Way to go, dude. Now we all suffer...
←Rate |
08-16-2014 10:17 by snotty
Comments (0)
Insomnia sufferers - look on the bright side..... Only three more sleeps til Christmas
←Rate |
08-16-2014 09:30 by snotty
Comments (0)
Why are Doctors so afraid of apples?
←Rate |
08-16-2014 07:57
Comments (0)
we need to go back to the belt, sorry I mean the basics when raising these kids.
←Rate |
08-16-2014 06:33
Comments (0)
There is just so much for me not to care about.
←Rate |
08-16-2014 05:44 by Baddie
Comments (0)
I'm doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
←Rate |
08-16-2014 00:33 by The FRED
Comments (0)
God: Women will bleed for a week. Universe: What will men do for pleasure at that time? God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot.
←Rate |
08-15-2014 23:32
Comments (0)