life Funny Status Messages

   Remember, life isn't about accumulating stuff. It's about making people insanely jealous of your stuff.

   My life is not a failure. I am just compiling a comprehensive list of things that did not work as planned.

   The life was much easier when Blackberry and Apple were just fruits..

   In the game of life, if you're keeping score you're not "winning".

   Where are all these hot women in actual real life that I see on facebook?

   Putting you're offline chat on Facebook so it actually looks like you have a life and don't sit on Facebook all day.

   If your life and or feelings are are better because you're now posting anonymously... It's time to re-evaluate your life choices my friend. That's just sad. There is actually a "real world" out there.

   You can't always decide who walks into your life, but you can decide which window to throw them out of.

   Your life is none of my business, but if it was, I would sell it.

   When life becomes boring it simply mean you're not living it right.

   Girls..You know that "amazing" man in your life? News flash...he's fooling you and you're just eating it up.

   The year I was voted sexiest man alive by People Magazine was the greatest time in my life. Now? It just gets me beat up in bars

   When someone is bringing more sorrow than happiness into your life, it's time to show them the exit door.

   You can look at some people and instantly know they're only going to get two awards in life, a birth and a death certificate.

   If ‘real life' was really that great, Facebook wouldn't be so darn addictive.

   LIFE IS LIKE A BOWL OF SOUP..... YOU ONLY GET BLOWN IF YOU'RE HOT!

   I'd rather live my life knowing and accepting that I'm not perfect, rather than spend my whole life pretending to be perfect.

   We have all been walked on, taken for granted, forgotten, used and abused at some point in our lives. For the strong ones, life goes on, for the weak ones, life goes to waste.

   what can I say? Life doesn't get much better than beer and pancakes after midnight :)

   Life is like a vacuum cleaner, as soon as you make a firm step, it starts to suck.