Brian_Allen Funny Status Messages

   never regret anything because at one point it was exactly what you wanted

   I finally slept with my HS Crush but it's kind of weird now because she wants me to go to her graduation.

   LIFE IS LIKE A BOWL OF SOUP..... YOU ONLY GET BLOWN IF YOU'RE HOT!

   Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality......which would explain Edward.....

   says 10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash – Now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't let Kevin Bacon die!!!!

   with the intergration of females into the NFL referee ranks the need for instant replay will soon be a thing of the past. In my experience WOMEN ARE NEVER WRONG!! SO this is a Win!!Win!!

   Lets see do I root for the Gators or the Hurricanes today? Aaron Hernandez -3(murders) or Ray Lewis +3(murders).

   anyone heard anything about Cam Newton? It's been kinda quiet the past 3 minutes

   Nothing is sexier than knowing the person you're with can be with anyone they want and they chose you or atleast that is what my wife says.

   If I could do it all over again. I would have kids and raise them in an Amish Community and make them believe that it is the year 1693. Then when they are 16, I'm going to tell them I've invented a 'Time Machine', and I will send them into the 'future'

   TRUE STORY: I got 99 chargers but my phone aint 1