life Funny Status Messages

   Always smile and laugh in spite of your problems because this is the only life you will ever have and your problems won't matter anymore when you are dead.

   Life's short... Find someone to spend it with

   Pretty much all of the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.

   It's better to have a life of 'Oh Wells than a life of 'What if...'

   Turkey Bacon: Cause you suck at life.

   What would life be like without women? A pain in the a$$.

   That feel good feeling when someone walks into your life and you know there going to make an impact on your life :)

   I can only assume that naming your daughter Destiny is your way of sentencing her to a life of internet web cam modelling.

   When life gives you lemon, just add vodka and stop whining.

   In the biggest Wal-Mart of my life. There's *weather* in here.

   Life would be more simple if the person who named the orange an orange would have named more things!

   "Sex is life"... I want you to make me immortal.

   Some relationships in life are like fat people, they don't work out.

   I thought at this stage of my life, I would have at least one concubine.

   second guessed over 80% of the decisions that I have made in life. Maybe 90%.

   Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.

   Why the f*ck does toothpaste fall so easily off your tooth-brush, but the second it hits the sink it turns into some apoxy resin type bullsh!t and you can't wash it down the drain to save your life?! Grr.

   Ok it's been almost 30 years, And for the life of me....I still can't understand what Dan Akroyd was doing in the "We are the world" video.

   Life is like a can of whipped cream.....you have to shake things up a little before you get anything out of it.

   Life is sexually transmitted.