friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   I'm astounded at how fast my "I survived Ebola" t-shirt got me to the front of the Black Friday lines this year..

   Take it easy this Black Friday, (try not to trample anyone to death) because it isn't supposed to look like a riot you idiots... Shop online like a real modern American!

   Orange is the new Black, so....Have a great Orange Friday

   Black Friday shopping is unnecessary when you already did your shopping on looters Tuesday.

   BLACK FRIDAY, when people trample others for cheap goods mere hours after being thankful for what they already have

   There's a Black Friday sale at my house, pants are 100% off

   Black Friday: Because it's supposed to look like a riot

   Thinking of Black Friday shopping in Ferguson this year. Heard you can grab some really good deals.

   Why wait for Black Friday, when you can shop brown Monday right

   Fergison Mo. BLACK FRIDAY GHETTO STYLE!!!!

   I guess Black Friday started early in Ferguson

   Black Friday is the American version of running with the bulls

   Am I the only one hoping that grand jury decision in Ferguson Missouri lines up with my black Friday shopping plans?

   Ferguson is going to kick off their black Friday shopping events with the Darren Wilson verdict.

   It's only October 17th and I'm already sick of seeing anything regarding black friday .. seriously people have you no respect?? its african-american friday, dammit!

   When people ask me what I did over the weekend, I always squint and respond “Why, what did you hear?”

   Possible "Breaking Amish" sequels:.. #1:Friday Night Without Lights... #2:That 1870's Show... #3:The Big Barn Theory...#4:Not-Modern Family

   SAFETY REMINDER: If you encounter an NFL Running Back this weekend, Keep your distance and do NOT approach them....

   If a co-worker asks how your long weekend was, respond with a clever retort like "not long enough" or "MAAAAAN I MISSED YOUR SMELL"

   Maybe I'm just lazy or unimaginative or something, but if I had a time machine I'd probably just go forward to Friday to get this week over with.