life Funny Status Messages

   while running full speed, that moment between life and death when someone pushes you past your speed limit

   I'm that guy that will add you as a friend on Facebook and then not talk to you the next time I see you in real life.

   The Best Things in life are unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we KISS, CRY, and DREAM.

   it's not a crutch, it's something i've come to rely on to help me through life

   Life is a comedy for those who think, a tragedy for those who feel, and a pie eating contest for me.

   Dear Real Life, why don't you have background music?

   The biggest trick life plays on us, is the inability to fully appreciate something until it's gone. Except for broccoli.

   Life is like a pen!s. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely. Then women make it hard.

   Sure I'll quit Facebook. Just as soon as someone teaches my 'real life' friends to be as funny and cool as my 'fake' Facebook friends!

   My life has changed for the better ever since I decided to let God take care of my problems and Karma take care of my enemies.

   I saved a life today, because I asked a hobbo. what will he do if I gave him $1000, he said he will die of happinnes, so I didnt give him

   Life is a comedy for those who think, a tragedy for those who feel, and a pie eating contest for me

   This holiday season there's no better gift than the gift of life. That's why I'm giving every girl I know a baby.

   Life would be so much easier if chocolate was a health food and they allowed drinking at work

   Me: Wow everything seems right for once. Life: Hold on let me f*ck it up.

   Holding grudges gets you no where in life but it does prove how stuck in the past you are.

   Be choosey about who you let into your life and be selective about who you let stay.

   life is sooooooo much funnier when you have a dirty mind

   Life is to short to bicker and cry before we die.....

   I once had a life … then some idiot came and told me to make a Facebook!