Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   that all you got? Come on Mother Nature, put your big girl panties on!!

   The worst part about watching The Food Network while my mother in law tries to follow their recipes during the Holidays is the sad fact that they don't deliver.

   Dear CBS please put How I Met Your Mother to the Sitcom Cemetery

   I blame all this snow on people who think its fun to decorate for Christmas before thanksgiving. ... mother nature just went along with them. ...so they cant b*tch..

   On a scale of 1 to Mother-in-law How annoying are you?

   I just found out my mother-in-law is going to be staying with us for the Thanksgiving Weekend. Well, it looks like I have to clean out the hall closet again.....she is going to need somewhere to hang upside down and sleep

   When you get married, wouldn't it make more sense for the groom's mother to walk the bride down the aisle? That way you would have the woman that brought you into this world and the woman that will take you out of it.

   NEWS FLASH: The mother who injected her 8 year old daughter with Botox looses custody... *The child didn't look surprised.

   If my mother knew how many potential grandchildren I swallowed I wonder if she'd be proud or appalled.

   One day, as a little boy, I wrote to Santa Clause. "Please send me a little brother." Santa Clause wrote me back,,, "Ok, send me your mother."

   I'm sorry Charlie Brown, but your mother is dead.... Turns out, she had a trombone lodged in her throat and eventually just suffocated to death

   i find it ironic that in "the smurfs 2" the stepdad explains to Neil Patrick Harris' character how he met his mother

   A string of stars tattooed on your chest is a great way to let everyone know you're a 22 year old single mother of 4 kids.

   For every one text I send my mother, I have to send 4 more texts explaining what it means

   *Maury opens envelope*......................"Necessity IS the mother of Invention!"....... *Necessity jumps up and throws chair across stage*

   Maybe Mother Nature wants to be a dirty girl!

   A woman is quick to reject a man that lives with his mother, but will accept a man that lives with his wife.

   His dad was Mexican, His mother Italian, Both were Jedi Masters..... He's, Old Bean Juan Cannoli. (lol, I'm not even sorry)

   Mother caught me jerkin it when I was 13. She asked my dad when would I stop: He told her she'd have to ask someone older than him.

   writes apology to 90's hip hop for the words he never gave to his mother.