AZ Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Make librarians cry by calling it a "Book Museum" while taking pictures with your iPad.
←Rate | 09-12-2013 10:55 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon First woman on Moon: -Huston, we have a problem? What? -Never mind What's the problem? -Nothing Please tell us? -You know what's the problem
←Rate | 12-30-2013 13:27 by AZ Comments (2)  


   messageicon Some things are better left unsaid, but I'm probably gonna get drunk and say them anyway.
←Rate | 09-12-2013 11:02 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my Nike fitness app, I watched TV for 6 miles this week.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 06:29 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon This McDonalds sandwich is delicious, and my heart will be thanking me in the future, when it gets to quit working early.
←Rate | 09-18-2013 22:31 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon You'd think when a movie lists the cast "In Order of Appearance", they'd go from best-looking to ugliest but no...
←Rate | 09-16-2013 13:02 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looking for pornography? Type literally any letter into my search bar
←Rate | 09-12-2013 10:52 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never trust the emotional stability of women who wear Mickey Mouse shirts.
←Rate | 09-16-2013 13:36 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not an economist, but I think I could make a lot of money selling drugs.
←Rate | 09-11-2013 23:24 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon all of my recipes for success end up with me on the floor eating cheese
←Rate | 09-11-2013 23:28 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't ask me for advice my answer is always get them drunk.
←Rate | 09-11-2013 23:31 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon My first thought upon waking up in the morning is "fuuuuck, not again."
←Rate | 09-12-2013 11:00 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me? Did he say something to you? OMG I'm freaking out right now tell me his exact words.
←Rate | 12-25-2013 22:55 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a fan of hard sci-fi, I did not enjoy "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
←Rate | 09-12-2013 19:30 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon For every one text I send my mother, I have to send 4 more texts explaining what it means
←Rate | 09-17-2013 23:42 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon You have the most beautiful lies I've ever seen
←Rate | 12-27-2013 21:39 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is an elegance, and an art, to being beautifully broken
←Rate | 09-11-2013 23:38 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon "No" - Old Irish Proverb
←Rate | 09-27-2013 09:12 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every so often I'll listen to my mom talk non stop for like 5yrs at a time to remind myself why people wander into traffic without looking.
←Rate | 09-19-2013 11:44 by AZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tip Of The Day # 12232013 (for novice surgeon doctors ) " The way to a man's heart is through his stomach "
←Rate | 12-24-2013 06:28 by AZ Comments (0)  


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