Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   My mother suggested that I get professional help... and that's when I hired my first hooker.

   Ok mother nature we beat the snow record now there's no need to run the score up!

   mother nature... turning february into white history month...

   Since Kanye wants to write a song named 'I Am God' I wanna see him bring his dead mother back to life again.

   I think Old Man Winter & Mother Nature need to have a few drinks and make a little Spring.

   That moment when you realize you will probably never be half the man your mother is...

   Dear Mother Nature: Get off the Vortex aleready.

   I am not joking who ever pissed off mother nature Stop!

   "FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!" - Mother Nature

   Polar vortex proof Mother nature is not having a gender identity crisis. In everyday terms that's cold hearted.

   Daughter: Momma, can a woman get pregnant from an@l s3x? Mother: Sure Honey. Where do you think politicians come from?

   I was in the middle of a selfie and my mother walked in, now all she can say is "don't worry son everyone's doing that."

   This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: "Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken."

   You name it, my mother knows somebody who died of it.

   Son, your mother and I need to talk to you. We went through your room earlier and found....NO drugs OR p orn?! What are you some kind of nerd

   that all you got? Come on Mother Nature, put your big girl panties on!!

   The worst part about watching The Food Network while my mother in law tries to follow their recipes during the Holidays is the sad fact that they don't deliver.

   Dear CBS please put How I Met Your Mother to the Sitcom Cemetery

   I blame all this snow on people who think its fun to decorate for Christmas before thanksgiving. ... mother nature just went along with them. ...so they cant b*tch..

   On a scale of 1 to Mother-in-law How annoying are you?