Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   just added a guy on facebook named "emon", just so I could Poke Emon

   bad decisions make good stories.

   Thinks someone needs to invent a sarcasm font.

   ‎"One of the few things I really about FaceBook is that you can post or quote almost anything and few people will question it."- Abraham Lincoln :)

   Everyone is intitled to their opinion, and in my opinion, your opinion sucks!

   Mike Vick thought he was playing the Washington Pitbulls cause he killed them!!

   If you're happy and you know it...share your meds.

   Great! Now all the pervs are going to apply for jobs with the TSA!

   I have no problem with allowing Michael Vick to play in the NFL. However, if he ever suffers a career ending injury, he should be "put to sleep" immediately

   Apparently it's green week. In an effort to contribute, I just created a save electricity sign: "Don't you hate it when someone turns you on, and then just leaves?"

   I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

   BBC Sport: "Liverpool want Fanni" - Don't we all.

   IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT just in from Apple! Now not only including the Beatles music addition to the Itunes Store. They have also announced the addition of "The Greatest Polka Hits of "Lawrence Welk"!! Hurry over there now and get your digital copy now!

   Thinks it's good to see some of the women at work growing a movember too.

   If you're OCD and you know it wash your hands....

   It just dawned on me that I am STILL not over the fact that Kevin Arnold and Winnie Cooper didn't end up together on The Wonder Years.

   I can think of atleast 3 different ways to spend 78 million dollars more effectively.

   Great!!! my parents just told me I was made in China...???

   they say good things come to those who wait, so I'm gonna be about an hour late

   Oh, crap! This isn't where I parked my car!