Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.

   I'm perfectly imperfect, beautiful in my flaws, sure of my insecurities, absolute chaos...a beautiful disaster.

   I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

   Fellas, don't assume she wants to be in a relationship ... "Ladies is pimps too"

   Apparently saying you're gay with excitement about going to the Texas Rodeo is a poor choice of words

   Just saw this group on facebook: "Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns... Ever noticed how all womens problems begin with men?" No. All womens problems begin with opening their mouths and saying stupid things like that.

   funniest joke ever... 2 women sitting on a bench minding their own business saying nothing

   Drive careful studies show that 89% of all people are caused by accidents

   I wish that Hallmark would make a card that says, "Sorry, what was your name again?"

   Steve Irwin should have used sunscreen.... it protects from harmful rays

   Of this I am certain: This war on terrorism which has been longer than any other modern war thus far, will turn into a war of religion, Christianity vs Islam because of Ignorants and Fundamentalists on either side.

   Kindness is just love with its workboots on.

   someone is having a keg of the Mondays

   by now, even Ed Hardy thinks that shirt makes you look like a douche.

   Want to program my GPS to say "Right turn Clyde" whenever the right turn now arrow appears.

   I joined the Tourettes society today. It only took a minute to be sworn in.

   it wrong to laugh at the flaming gay guys getting attacked by bees? What? It's funny!

   Facebook the number one rumor starter

   Those who say you only fall in love once must not have a FB, cause I see ALOT of PPL falling in love like every other week with a new person!! .. and if this offends you, maybe you need to take a look at your situation.

   Cancel my subscription....I am done with your issues!