life Funny Status Messages

   Life is sexually transmitted.

   Life is like a can of whipped cream.....you have to shake things up a little before you get anything out of it.

   Ok it's been almost 30 years, And for the life of me....I still can't understand what Dan Akroyd was doing in the "We are the world" video.

   Why the f*ck does toothpaste fall so easily off your tooth-brush, but the second it hits the sink it turns into some apoxy resin type bullsh!t and you can't wash it down the drain to save your life?! Grr.

   Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.

   second guessed over 80% of the decisions that I have made in life. Maybe 90%.

   I thought at this stage of my life, I would have at least one concubine.

   Some relationships in life are like fat people, they don't work out.

   "Sex is life"... I want you to make me immortal.

   Life would be more simple if the person who named the orange an orange would have named more things!

   In the biggest Wal-Mart of my life. There's *weather* in here.

   When life gives you lemon, just add vodka and stop whining.

   I can only assume that naming your daughter Destiny is your way of sentencing her to a life of internet web cam modelling.

   That feel good feeling when someone walks into your life and you know there going to make an impact on your life :)

   What would life be like without women? A pain in the a$$.

   Turkey Bacon: Cause you suck at life.

   It's better to have a life of 'Oh Wells than a life of 'What if...'

   Pretty much all of the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.

   Life's short... Find someone to spend it with

   Always smile and laugh in spite of your problems because this is the only life you will ever have and your problems won't matter anymore when you are dead.