life Funny Status Messages

   I've had a rough week, so I'm going to watch Jersey Shore to feel better about my life.

   In life, the woman saying " it cant be done" is always interrupted by the woman doing it...that woman is ME:)

   The best things in life are free...............So how many kittens do you want?

   You only live once. Have fun, enjoy life to the fullest, do what you want and don't look back, smile, love somebody. live for the future, not the past. Life is too short to be p!ssed off all the time!

   Iowa state fair is selling a fried stick of butter. Glad to see you guys are still pro life.

   The most best things in life can't be seen or touched....at least that's what the restraining order says.

   I don't wanna brag but that was the most perfectly executed 16 point turn of my life.

   Two rules of success in life: 1. Always have some secrets. 2.

   Facebook: A place where you can make your life look like something it's not.

   Sometimes I have these moments in life when I want to press pause, look into the sky, and scream "REALLY DUDE, REALLY!?"!!!!!

   Body piercing saved your life. -Jesus

   Some people live one life, then tweet another.

   life can be as sweet as you make it.. kinda like kool-aid.. life is kool-aid..

   Admit It, At least once in your Life, You Have Tried To Squeeze your eyes Shut and Shoot Lasers Out of them With Intense Concentration.

   Married life has many Ups and Downs... I just wish most of them were between the sheets!

   Went to a Real life party and I knew everybody there. Went to a Facebook party and saw most of my friends. Went to a Twitter party and didn't know anybody there. Went to a Myspace party and I was the only one there.

   they're are moments in life. Moments when you know u've crossed bridge and your old life is over. I'm into action. I have arrived!

   People always talk bout hard work, but you can work hard your whole life and not get anywhere...take my advice, work smart, not hard

   Remember give everything a chance.. That way later in life you can look back and say you give it a shot..

   You're not living life right if you don't get just a little bit nervous every time you hear a police siren.