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How much of your pants are you allowed to fold up before you're mistaken for a fisherman?
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11-14-2016 00:38 by
Baddie
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"Please stop being mean" - Me 3 seconds in to a rap battle
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11-14-2016 01:06 by
snotty
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I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.
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11-14-2016 07:39 by
snotty
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So, Trump tells us to stop harrassing minorities, yesterday, on 60 Minutes. His wish is my command.
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11-14-2016 09:24 by
Bart
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Hillary and Trump are in a boat and it sinks. Who survives? I'd say Hillary. According to Bill, she never goes down.
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11-14-2016 09:59 by
thejoke.cafe
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FUN FACT: if you took the skin of an average person and laid it out flat,you would have enough for a serious criminal conviction :)
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11-14-2016 11:23
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Old school slogan "Question Authority!" is replaced by today's "Question the News Media!" slogan
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11-14-2016 12:54
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#Life tip: if someone comes out of a #bathroom sweating, do not go in that bathroom.
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11-14-2016 13:13 by
@UncleBSolomon
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Who did you vote for?☐ Clinton ☐ Trump ☑ Vodka
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11-14-2016 13:14 by
@UncleBSolomon ·
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Ran into a #PETA nut while walking my dog. He said my dog was my slave. Wonder if he noticed I'm the one carrying the poop in a bag?
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11-14-2016 13:16 by
UncleBSolomon
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How I love #Monday. On a different subject. Have you ever met someone for the first time and wanted to buy them a toaster for their bathtub?
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11-14-2016 13:17 by
@UncleBSolomon
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A person without a sense of humor is like a car without shocks, they get jolted by every rock or pebble in the road.
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11-14-2016 13:18 by
@UncleBSolomon
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I am in competition with no one. I run my own race. I have no desire to play the game of being better than anyone, in any way, shape, or form. I just aim to improve, to be better than I was before. That’s me and I’m free.
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11-14-2016 15:30
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May your clothes be comfy. your coffee strong and your Monday short.
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11-14-2016 17:12
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KARMARIFIC : My new word For when karma gets someone so sweetly ..It's Karmarific !
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11-14-2016 17:14
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Hey, he just called you Indian. Oh hell'no. Hold my Fry Bread
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11-14-2016 17:22
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I'd publish my autobiography but it's just a bunch of liquor stained pages filled with doodles, and rants about stupid people.
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11-14-2016 18:56 by
@UncleBSolomon
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A wife is like a box of chocolates, you never know which of her multiple moods you're going to get, you just better act like you love it.
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11-14-2016 19:09 by
@UncleBSolomon
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Supermoon was OK... But according to Rotten Tomatoes, still way better than Supermoon v Batmoon.
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11-14-2016 20:00 by
snotty
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When the moon hits your eye Like a bigger pizza pie,,,, That's a....Supermoon.
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11-14-2016 20:01 by
snotty
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