Exercise Funny Status Messages

   My favorite exercise at the gym would definitely be judging.

   If I ever say, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." I'm talking about eating healthy food or doing exercise and sh*t.

   Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?

   My signature move is walking past all the ladies in the gym with my chest puffed out before using all of the exercise equipment incorrectly.

   I'm on the "I love food more than I love exercise but I love naps more than I love food" diet.

   Whenever I say the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with pie!

   If I notice you've lost weight and ask what your secret is, and you say, "Diet & exercise!" I will punch you in your skinny face.

   Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I just lie down until it goes away...

   Dear skinny gym girls... exercise and yoga pants don't fix ugly.

   I do 50 sit-ups between each glass of wine so don't question my commitment to exercise.

   Does running out of money count as exercise?

   My middle finger seems to get more exercise on Monday than any other day of the week.

   If exercise eliminates excess fat how come some people have double chins?

   There's only one kind of exercise I know and its the beer run.

   Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

   Good thing Obama cancelled the joint military exercise with Egypt next month. I'm sure that will teach the Egyptian army a lesson!

   I don't get it with these weight loss pills that say "along with diet and exercise" they can help you lose weight. Come on. The whole point of taking a weight loss pill should be so I don't have to diet and exercise.

   They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but 2 minutes and 15 seconds once every 3 months ain't going to shift your beer belly is it.

   You know you have been married too long when the only heavy breathing going on in the bedroom is when someone uses the exercise equipment.

   I need a female exercise partner. When I say exercise I mean emotionless sex.