life Funny Status Messages

   Dear mom, Please stop telling me not to play with my food. You spent the first 2 years of my life pretending it was an airplane.

   Life is like art done in chalk, beautiful but temporary, enjoy it while possible.

   My life needs more explosions and gaping plot holes.

   Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last long if your morbidly obese.

   Admit it at some point in your life you have tried to close the fridge slowly to see when the light goes out...

   If you are wearing Uggz with cargo shorts, you need to get your life together!!!!!!

   Life is so much easier with a sense of humor.

   Life is a puzzle. Stop trying to place people where they don't fit.

   Life may not always give us chances, but it always gives us choices.

   The Pope has called life in Germany under the Nazi's a "dark time". Altar boys have called life in Germany UNDER Priests "hurty hurty time".

   You should like yourself because that is the only person you have to spend the rest of your life with.

   Having high standards increases your quality of life and decreases the bullsh*t in your life!

   Some people have to realize that not everyone was made with a good singing voice...if they were, life would just be one big musical.

   u have twitter?-yes- facebook? -yes- tumblr? -yes- blog?-of course- life? I opened an account but I don't really use it!.

   The "problems" in your life can't be that bad if you can update a facebook status... How bad can life be if you have internet access or a cell phone with a data plan.

   Attack life,... it's gonna kill you anyway.!!!

   .If you have someone great in your life hold on to them and pull them close and keep them tight to you,if not someone else will.

   it's never to early in life to do anything...except get out of bed!

   You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one damn night!"

   If you want to be a part of my life you will only communicate with me via electronics.