Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Embracing the darkness,killing the light.go on you troubles,i ain't got the time to fight.mayb the yesterday ws wrong,tmrrw wud sure be right.no more shaking up,may however strong be the tide.i close my eyes with a dream.this is misery's final night. . .

   Why is it that every gal i'm in touch with these days is so sh*t fo brains??i mean, god,please,get 'Some'body with even half f it. . fine,make her ugly as hell but pls,'Some' brains atleast? beauty and brains don't go together at all,I know now. . . :/

   Megan Fox will not be acting in Transformers 3. So, no change from Transformers 1 and 2.

   When is that 1/2 man on '2 and and 1/2 Men' going to officially become a man?

   Tried to log into my WellsFargo.com account with my MILF-Hunter.com password. Oh, whatever, like you never did that!

   After five minutes of forced conversation, I've just realized that this person sitting across from me is not, in fact, Tony Danza

   Not to scare anyone, but we're only a decade or so away from grandmothers named Amber or Brittany.

   BP says their latest cleanup technique is called a "Dirty Sanchez." I don't want details.

   Sarah Palin thinks US law should be based on the Bible. As the most attractive female in national politics, I think she'd be far more successful doing an arm-in-arm political fashion tour with the most attractive man in Washington, Ann Coulter.

   I'm sick of Canadians sneaking across the border and stealing our hockey jobs.

   Do You Really expect everybody to believe your "in a relationship" with someone who doesn't have facebook? Your fooling no one..

   Crack,meth,heroine. All these drugs should be manufactured by pharmacutical companies. That way,no one could afford them.

   Can't stand the automatic bathroom appliances... WTF... I am not done.. Thanks for the generous water ration... Btw, your paper towels are like sand paper

   Eight deaths in one year at a Chinese phone manufacturing plant? There's an App for that.

   Childhood obesity is not funny. Ok mabey it is a little, Chubby little kids woddling around.

   loves how Trig Palin is named after a math class he'll never pass.

   Sharting: (verb) when you try to cut the cheese and get the whole nacho dip.

   ☆:*´¨`*twinkle twinkle little star...point me to the nearest bar *´¨`*:.☆ HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!

   When the World calmly tells you, "Give Up" on your struggles to success, You whisper back and say, "Hell...No"

   we don't choose who you fall in love with, we can only pray that thay fall in love with us too ♥