santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Coz that Pope started using Twitter, Santa just created his Facebook account. Guess what, all the kids are getting clothes and Bible for Christmas :)

   That moment when you spend 20 minutes making all the christmas lights work, then putting them nicely along the ceiling, then stand back to look at the beautiful setup up.. Plug them in... And BAM, they don't work....\

   i'm thinking about sending a fruitcake to some family members for Christmas...u know the old saying "you are what you eat"

   Just saw a Christmas tree drive by with a Smart Car strapped to the bottom of it.

   The real Christmas miracle is how quick I go broke

   The thing I hate most about getting too drunk at my office Christmas party, is looking for a new job the next day.

   Our business says Merry Christmas!

   I just got my Kardashian Christmas card. It came with Herpes...

   I'm not saying Happy Holiday's to anyone this year, instead I'm saying Merry Christmas

   I don't know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.

   The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me 7 more times before then.

   Dear Santa, us big girls like toys too just put them in the second drawer of my nightstand!

   Dear Santa, us big girls like toys too just put them in the second drawer of my nightstand!

   One of my favorite things about this time of year is seeing all the pictures of children screaming in sheer terror as their parents try to capture that special moment with Santa.

   I like to keep the security people at places like Best Buy, etc on their toes. Therefore, when I am leaving after having made a purchase and my item(s) still sets off the alarm, I will always take off running like a bat out of hell. Merry XMas!

   Santa, you either take my name off the Naughty list, or I show Mrs. Claus those pictures of you with that little blonde elf that works in the Doll department!

   I'm so glad they brought back the McRib for the Holidays...I always wanted an angioplasty for Christmas! ツ

   How the Grinch Stole Christmas is my favorite holiday special about a burglar whose crimes go wholly unpunished.

   Dear Santa, Please define good.

   My coworker, a Jehovah's Witness,, wouldn't attend the Christmas luncheon.. She took her bonus check though,, Maybe she's donating it to her church.