Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   if you can't beat them, let them join you. THEN beat them.

   A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it off.

   thinks that everyone has the ability of making someone happy, some by entering the room, others by leaving it.

   having a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

   I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

   hates leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

   No one understand a bad hair day like I understand a bad hair day, I am currently rockin ruff and stuff with my afro puff!!!

   Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. BUT How many of them will own up to where the f*ck they were last night????

   I look at the moon, the moon is beautiful...I look at you.. I.. I... I'd rather look at the moon again.. ;)

   The hardest thing you'll ever do is watch the one you love, love someone else.

   Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happend.

   I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.

   looking for a Facebook petition for Betty White to host the Adult Film Star Awards

   God created Whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.

   JESUS SAVES... He Passes It To Gretzky... Gretzky Shoots... He Scores!

   HATE: a SPECIAL KIND OF LOVE GIVEN TO PEOPLE WHO SUCK!

   If I kick his sister in the jaw, will that circumcise a hillbilly?

   The meek shall inherit the earth.....after we're through with it.

   Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

   Avoid being late, just don't show up!