father OR dad Funny Status Messages

   Who among us has not proclaimed into the whir of a fan, "Luke. I am your father."

   Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

   I was raised by my father----my mother left before I was born.

   A wise man once told me, "You are not the father"! Thanks Maury!

   "Someone's been eating my porridge!", said Father bear. Mother bear sighed and poured him another bowl. Life was tough and draining for her, now that her husband was suffering from Alzheimer's.

   Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

   Had Maury Povich been in Star Wars, we would have known who the father was a lot sooner

   loving him some father son and holy spirit right. I love ya Jesus

   I met with my new girlfriends father for the first time yesterday. The first thing I said to him was, "Sir, you and me have something in common.." "What's that son?" I replied "Your daughter calls us both Daddy"

   Maury told me "You are Not the father"... That just made my day!

   By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.

   He's really got his father's scalp.

   some say that Justin Bieber is the father of Rebecca Blacks baby....but its not true...There is no way 1 girl can impregnate another

   "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.

   “... of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.” Matthew 24:36..If God has not even revealed to his own son the date the world will end, I doubt he has revealed it to Harold Camping.

   My new favorite thing to do is slip a kid $20 while his parents aren't looking and quietly whisper: "This is from your real father."

   one of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.

   In the spirit of Father's Day, my best advice to you: "Keep your "business" in your pants, and always wash your hands".

   seeing all these profile pics of old men in honor of Father's Day is giving me the creeps. My wall looks more like a list of sex offenders..

   To all those that use our competitors brand...Happy Father's Day From the people of Durex