Funny Status Messages

   Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you want them to be set to the wrong time.

   i wonder if they threaten Spongebob's job tonight....all parents are hoping

   Some kid keeps prank calling me so he just got the "Liam Neeson Speech" from Taken. I'm sure his parents will be calling soon...

   When others say you can't do something, don't listen. You get out there and prove them right!!

   just sitting here with my hand in the cookie jar :)

   7 things I look for in a girl: Beautiful Intelligent Gentle Thoughtful Innocent Trustworthy Sensible. ;)

   wanting to know what you would do for a Klondike Bar?

   anyone else watching this verbal pay-per-view match? the folks on tv call it a "debate"

   Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

   Thursday Night Football on the same time during the Vice Presidential debate....well played NFL, well played.

   BIDEN'S laugh is scaring me... and the inner boy within me keeps screaming "I need an adult."

   Paul Ryan looks like Doug, Dougie, Doug, Doug from "The Hangover"

   Hollister should offer complimentary gas masks and ear plugs when you walk in the store

   if we'd had female candidates there'd be a big ol' cat fight right about now!!

   my wife said I drink too much and don't exercise enough. So I stole her pedometer. Half mile so far from the living room to the fridge!

   That Mark Walberg must be a funny MF... He sure had Regis Philbin smiling up a storm on Antiques Roadshow tonight...

   hipsters: being uncool on purpose since 1979...don't believe me? I heard it on vinyl...

   10-11-12... Sooo Exciting... Not!!. I think we all know, the BIG day we're all really waiting for is in seventy days and counting... Be afraid. Be very afraid! Brohahaha!!.

   Magic Mike...50 Shades of Grey...I knew I should have bought stock in Duracell this year.

   Understanding is what allows someone like me to tolerate someone like you.