life Funny Status Messages

   can't really remember, but I think my life must have been a lot more productive before I discovered Facebook...

   "The best revenge is a life well-lived" is so true, but it doesn't provide the instant gratification I seek.

   My life has a superb cast... I just can't figure out the plot.

   If you worry about all the bridges you burn in life, you will never get across the river.

   Life is less like a box of chocolate and more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

   There are more important things in life than money. The trouble is they all cost money.

   Ladies, men are not that hard to figure out. They are a lot like carpet tiles… If you lay them properly the first time around, you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.

   They say that every person who enters your life makes a difference in it, my question for you is are you gonna be a scar or a beauty mark?

   French couple claims to have found 271 unknown Picassos. Suspiciously, one of them is "Still Life with McRib."

   ‎"Only one store has been a part of your life for 150 years. That's the power of MACY'S" Wow! They're really targeting the seniors with this commercial!

   I hate when people tell you their life story against your will. I think it's a form of low level rape.

   My life would make one really good Soap Opera, or at least four really bad country songs.

   Life was so simple back when we didn't need a Username and a Password.

   when life hands you lemons, through it back at live and say hey I asked for limes

   Being a responsible adult is seriously messing up my social life.

   ‎7-11 is developing a new wine.. It's said to pair well with poor life choices and sadness

   One of the hardest choices I have had to make in my adult life, give my change to the bell ringer outside of Wal-Mart or spend it in the toy vending machine in hopes that I get the cool watch I was wanting.

   Dear Santa, Last year I asked for and received your list of naughty girls, It was fun but I think I am past that point in my life. This year I would like to receive your list of good girls with naughty tendencies!

   Do fleas ever wonder if there's life on other dogs?

   Life gives guys a lot of lemons, but life gives girls a set of melons.