Prostitute Funny Status Messages

   I fold and hang clothes all day at work...then on my day off I have to do laundry...now I know what a prostitute feels like coming home to her man

   (Q): What is the difference between a prostitute, a girlfriend and a wife. (A): Prepaid, post paid and unlimited plan.

   Teacher asks: What is the difference between a prostitute, a girlfriend and a wife.Student replies: Prepaid, post paid and unlimited plan.

   Valentine's day: Dinner for two: $80. Movie: $60. Flowers: $85. Gold Necklace: $250. Hotel room: $150 OR a Prostitute: $100! You decide.

   So I met this prostitute who said she'd do anything for $20. Guess who got their homework done. ;)

   NEW SECRET SERVICE CODE OF ETHICS: 1.) When arguing with a hooker in the hotel hallway, Use your "Inside" voice. 2.) You're only allowed to jump on a prostitute if you hear her ticking. 3.) Proudly display the U.S. Flag, But NOT the pole.

   Whoever made the ''One loyal Girlfriend is worth more than one hundred hoes'' post has never been with a prostitute...

   Free Tip: If a prostitute has nice teeth and carries a purse, she's a cop.

   A hot chick with all her teeth and original limbs at a bowling alley is alway a cop posing as a prostitute.

   Anybody wanna go halfsies on a prostitute?

   A prostitute just told me she would do anything for $10... guess who just got their car washed!

   The average annual income of a U.S. prostitute is $290,000. Seems the only time getting screwed pays is when you are a hooker.

   Passed a vampire, a zombie, and a prostitute on the way to work tonight. Not sure which ones were in costume...

   Who's the biggest prostitute in history...Ms. Pacman...for 10 cents that slut swallowed balls till she died....

   So there I was, wanking myself off, when suddenly I thought "This prostitute is lazy".

   I never said she was a prostitute, all I said was she used her panties as ankle warmers!

   If I had a dollar for every time I've had sex, I'd be a really affordable prostitute.

   Big win for the Catholic church as Pope Francis takes Time Magazine's person of the year barely edging out finalists tea bagger Ted Cruz, prostitute Miley Cyrus, and worst president since Jefferson Davis Barack Obama.

   There is a thin line between girlfriend allowance and a prostitute's fee. Jokes.

   Great News for YOU during these financially challenging times. I found a prostitute who charges by the inch. Obviously, I can't afford her, but I thought you might enjoy an inexpensive night out.