Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Looks Like Kate Goselin Is As Bad A Dancer As She Was Wife And Is A Mother. Jesus Stay Home Lady We Have Had Enough!

   I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

   I got 99 problems but a mother f**king jay z ticket aint one of them.

   Don't Kanye me!!! or I'll Chris Brown yo a$$... and Tiger Woods your mother!

   Upon stubbing my toe while at my parents house, I yelled out "Mother Fucker!" at that my dad responded "Present!"... as gross as that was, I had to high five him.

   Ahh Bud light the sweet lower calorie nectar made by mother nature

   you know you're getting old when you see a beautiful 19 year old girl and wonder what her mother looks like.

   Truth of life - Mother`s tears hit your heart and wife`s tears hit your pocket.

   My 4 year old son is running around saying "Yippie-Kay-Yay" and it's taking everything I've got to keep from yelling "Mother-Fucker!" Yeah, I think I may seen "Die Hard" too many times.

   I wonder how many bongs I can collect before my mother figures out they're not vases?

   saw clash of the titans last night, my mother in law won the battle.

   He always has the same expression on his face; “only a mother could love.”

   Tough decisions... Beat off in the shower and waste water or use Kleenex and add to landfill? What can I say? I love Mother Earth and big t*tties!!

   Kinda funny how a mother goes nuts when her China plates break, but a Chinese person would just make a new one.

   being a mother is like Hotel California, you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave:S

   In about 50 years from now, tombstones will read 'Beloved Wife, Mother, Sister, Daughter, and Facebook friend

   the Pill, something that prevents women from becoming mothers turns 50 on Mother's Day. Coincidence??

   Mother's Day Warning: You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

   Please give your Mother's an Extra Big Hug tomorrow for those who can no longer hug theirs here on earth... Cherish the Moment.

   wants to wish everyone a happy Mother's Eve, not to be confused with Summer's Eve... a feminine hygiene product.