Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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6 of those Extreme Coupon people could fix the entire US Budget. 
Scatter seeds of kindness and peace will grow, you stupid idiot.
"You're so vain. You probably think this universe is about you." (Carly Sagan)
Fact: rihanna's face is 74% forehead
When a woman asks for your opinion, they don't want to hear your opinion, they want to hear their opinion in a deeper voice.
It'll be 100 years since the R.M.S Titanic sank in five days. Some of the wealthiest people died that day. It was also Tax Deadline Day? Someone didn't pay their taxes......
A woman recently fell off a pier while texting. Don't worry; she's OK. Before she hit the water, she was able to Google "how to swim."
Someone who dines in a diner is a diner........... I N C E P T I O N
Welcome to "Ticked Off Tuesday". Today's special is bitchy, sarcastic attitude, with a side order of I don't give a damn. Enjoy!
Have you noticed that the "&" symbol looks like a guy dragging his ass across the floor?
Hell hath no fury like a woman slightly inconvenienced.
Facebook buys Instagram for one billion?!? Idiots!! They could have downloaded it from the app store for .99 cents..
A friend sticks with you through thick and thin. A best friend tells you if your butt's getting thick.
Fellas; Don't just rush to hit it. Take time to know her, then you'll know how to love her emotionally and physically.
There is no worse bicthassness than snapping and blowing up on someone who hasn't done you any wrong simply because your miserable and pathetic life is stressing you out.
in other news, Rihanna was hospitalized earlier after an American Airlines Boeign 747 accidentally landed on her forehead...
I don't know what you see in me, but daily I'm thrilled that you see whatever it is that you see.
Boobs… I was fixin' to write something clever… Boobs… What was I talking about? …Boobs. Forget it; it wasn't important.
I'm starting to feel bullied by all the anti-bullying commercials.
Have you ever done it kitty style? It's like doggy style, but with purring, scratching and biting. 